My Top 7 Tips To Deal with Depression

#PaintoPeace

#HurtingtoHealing

#Grow

I really never wanted to write about this topic because I had so many thoughts about how it would be perceived. I do find that I can talk about this in person with people all the time...but this is different. It entails me writing down my thoughts, my experiences. I am taking a step of faith here by writing my own story. Believe it or not that takes lot to be vulnerable with words on a page for people to read but here it goes. It doesn’t come easy to write about personal struggles. A part of you can feel like you're opening up something that can’t be closed again. However, I do feel this is necessary at this time and season. It is interesting to know how often this topic of depression gets ignored. I have had many conversations with people who struggle deeply with depression but the question is, WHY is this not talked about?

Do not allow your struggles to take you out.

Perhaps it was the same reason I haven’t written about it. Depression brings shame along with it and it makes you feel awful. We deserve to have a conversation about this right now. I remember being in a place where I have felt suicidal and it is a very dark place. You would only know if you’ve been there. Do not allow your struggles to take you out. The last thing I would want is for that depression to get so deep that it is so difficult to come back from.

So, here I am talking about my own struggles….

Growing up I experienced the struggle of depression first hand. I was so rejected as a child and I was under constant comparison with people around me. I was called Golda (fat/chunky). I was called the devil child. I knew I was different but I didn't think I was that different. I remember actually praying to the devil as a teenager because I thought he would accept me if everyone rejected me.It is the lowest I had ever felt. I was learning to accept this identity of constant rejection. I was heartbroken that the people who said they “loved” me would be treat this way.

Depression ran in my family and it is something I encountered a lot. I have a lot of memories of broken promises because of depression. A lot of darkness in many homes and a lot of tears to accompany them. That cloud in the commercial is nothing compared to a home filled with such a heaviness. It feels more like a hurricane!

I recently had a bad day! At some point, I was convinced “this is life”. Yes, life hurts and I can’t do anything about it. That feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed me. I could have chosen to waste the day and stay home and just sit in my mood. Instead, I chose to cry it out, pray it out and then I left the house. I purposed to do something outside of my home. I often have to remind myself that my bad days are a temporary moment and they don’t define me. Remember, even if you have a bad day you can grow to a place where those moments won’t be as frequent as they used to be.

See, I came into my own battle of depression as an adult. It was then when I realized it was always there waiting for me. It seem as a teenager many disappointments really changed my outlook in life. All it took was a series of events and there it was, depression full grown! My intitial thought was “ it is what it is “ & “ this is who I am” and I can’t change “it”.

I realized that this curse was mine and I just had to accept it. Crying in my bedroom & bathroom floor, the shower, in the car, and in the bathroom at work. It didn’t end. I was depressed. I was dark. I was broken. How could this be life? Is this Normal? I knew I needed help when I couldn't get up for work. I knew I needed help when I didn’t want to eat. I knew I needed help when I wanted to drive my car into a wall. I was suicidal and I knew I needed to reach out for help or else I wouldn’t come back from it.

I was suicidal and I knew I needed to reach out for help or else I wouldn’t come back from it.

I reached out to a doctor friend that I knew and he helped me right away. He wanted to admit me into Phil Haven (Mental Hospital) if I didn’t do as he instructed. That afternoon he prayed with me. I told him I don’t want to go, so he said it was fine as long as I went to a doctor visit the next day. So I did.

At that doctor's office I sat ashamed but I needed to just feel better. I started a long process of healing that very day. I chose to do something about it but it was a scary thing to do alone. See, I knew this was my battle to fight, no one else could do it for me. Some people say just snap out of it, but in my case something broke in me - I was considered “Clinically Depressed”. If you think this about people who struggle with depression - please don’t. It is a struggle to reframe your thinking and to work through hurts in life. The reality is once you do that’s where you find true healing. The work is necessary.

As I started to go to my doctor and counselings visits I realized so many things that built up over the years. All the hurt and pain from rejection. It really did affect me! To think about this when raising a child is super important and I truly can't say this enough. Be watchful with how you claim things over your kids, the names you call them and how you associate them with things. It can hinder them. Make sure your tongue is covered with nothing but love for them.

James 3:4-5 And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.

I began to really dig deep with the people around me. I began to realize recent events triggered all of this. I felt so off and its like I knew deep down this was bound to happen to me. I remember one afternoon I was just so sad at what was happening to me that I cried out to Jesus. In my little bedroom I pleaded with The Holy Spirit. I then received a vision, and I saw myself floating in what seemed to be a doctors office and I saw that I was getting a blood transfusion. I was not scared at all I was at peace. I was being cleaned out and refreshed at the same time. I knew this is where I was spiritually and emotionally speaking. I was being cared for by a community - in a spiritual Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and I was right where I needed to be.

Unfortunately, friends that I thought would be around left but my church family was the most supportive ever. I had key people I talked to that helped me from week to week. Slowly, as each month passed I literally felt stronger and more courageous. I felt more appreciative for everything in life. I spent 9 months taking medication to help me overcome this dark place. I myself, refused to take medicine for the rest of my life. Yes, Jesus can use medicine too but I knew it would help me for the moment. It was only for that time in my life. Remember, do what is necessary for you, just know depression can be conquered and medicine is just a temporary fix. There is no shame in medicine unless you are using it as a permanent crutch to not face reality. Please, if you remember anything from today - HEAL. My healing came from Jesus and my relationship with Him is what changed my life.

I met Him in a different way!

See, as a christian I found I was missing something essential. My identity was not found in Jesus Christ. I found my identity in what I did and I believed in turn people would love me then. The truth is I didn’t need to sing one more song for God to love me more. I didn't NEED to do ministry. Any ministry I did do would only came out of my LOVE FOR HIM. I learned people pleasing was a great IDOL in my life. I had to take a long time to think about WHY and WHO I was doing things for. I realized then I no longer needed to be accepted by man. I needed to just REST IN MY ACCEPTANCE (that's a word).

I am perfectly loved and I don’t have to do anything to be loved any more than I already am. I feel like I could write so much about this area!

I started to really rest in His promises and I was slowly being set free by THE TRUTH!

At each session I would repent, confess and pray. One of the things I was trained to do was to pray using the WORD OF GOD. As I began to read in each session The WORD became so alive to me! The words leaped off the pages as I clung to them. I started to really rest in His promises and I was slowly being set free by THE TRUTH! God met me at each visit. My relationship with God changed after this season of my life. It became stronger than ever before.

Here are a few verses that helped me in my journey.

Proverbs 12:25

25 Anxiety weighs down the heart of a man, but a good word cheers it up.

Psalms 91

1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 This I declare about the LORD:

He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

he is my God, and I trust him.

3 For he will rescue you from every trap

and protect you from deadly disease.

4 He will cover you with his feathers.

He will shelter you with his wings.

His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,

nor the arrow that flies in the day.

6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,

nor the disaster that strikes at midday.

7 Though a thousand fall at your side,

though ten thousand are dying around you,

these evils will not touch you.

8 Just open your eyes,

and see how the wicked are punished.

9 If you make the LORD your refuge,

if you make the Most High your shelter,

10 no evil will conquer you;

no plague will come near your home.

11 For he will order his angels

to protect you wherever you go.

12 They will hold you up with their hands

so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.

13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;

you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

14 The LORD says, “I will rescue those who love me.

I will protect those who trust in my name.

15 When they call on me, I will answer;

I will be with them in trouble.

I will rescue and honor them.

16 I will reward them with a long life

and give them my salvation.”

Romans 6:5-14

5 Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was. 6We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. 7 For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin. 8 And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. 9 We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. 10 When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God. 11 So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus.12 Do not let sin control the way you live; a do not give in to sinful desires. 13 Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. 14 Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Titus 3:4-7

When God our Savior revealed his kindness and love, 5 he saved us, not because of the righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He washed away our sins, giving us a new birth and new life through the Holy Spirit. 6 He generously poured out the Spirit upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior. 7 Because of his grace he made us right in his sight and gave us confidence that we will inherit eternal life.

Ephesians 2:8-10 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. 10 For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.

Romans 8:38-39

For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

At this time in my life, I am not going to lie to you to tell old feelings don’t come up. In fact, when they do I know where to run. I will cling to God and His Word. I will Worship my heart out. Do I have really dark days? I do but they are very infrequent. It has to be a really heavy trial I'm facing to get me to that place. Overall, I have begun seeing the things that can lead me "there" so I know when I need to get with God. I have to be real with myself and others around me. I will tell on myself and I know the safe people to go to in those moments. Sometimes I know when I just need to forgive someone. It takes work buy one thing is true and I tell people this all the time-You gotta know you. Know what you can handle and what you can't. I know nothing will take me to a place I don't want to go to, OK! The only person you can control is you.

Remember if things are not dealt with they continually come up so it’s our job to deal with them. What are you going to do today to move from your hurt? I encourage you today to make a step towards your healing, make a step towards emotional growth so that you can have true peace. We can all dwell, but why waste time.... GO LIVE YOUR LIFE!

My Top 7 Tips to Deal with Depression:

1) Accountability: It is important to have support from loved ones so that they can hold you accountable in this area. Tell them to check in on you every now and again. In addition, they can cheer you on when you reach you goals.

2) Safe Place: Make sure to find safe places where you can share things emotionally. Talking with someone you trust is significant .

3) Counseling: It is so important! I can’t stress this enough! Yes, you have friends and your spouses you can talk to but, you need a neutral view on things if you want to WORK ON YOU! I recommend biblical counselors/therapists.

4) Be Intentional: Do things that make you happy on purpose! Take the walk, go to the beach, read that book and watch that movie! Make sure to stay actively pursing these moments to enjoy your life! It will keep you grateful in life!

5) Community: Get with friends! Have good quality time with people who mean a lot to you! Cherish the people in your life and take advantage of them while they are still on this earth!

6) Be Creative: Play an instrument, Draw, Paint, Write, Sing, Journal. All of these things have helped me in my battle with depression. We have to do things on PURPOSE!

7) Be Vigilante: Be aware of those "things" that can really do a number on you. Be aware of your weaknesses. Remember you can only control YOU. Do not put yourself in a place to be compromised.

And I end with this..... YOU CAN DO THIS!!! YOU GOT THIS!!! Will it be hard, ofcourse but so what! What's not hard in life? GO and CONQUER! You WILL OVERCOME. YOU HAVE MY SUPPORT! I can’t wait for you to share your story with me. You will live to talk about how you made it through! HEAL, PEOPLE! AND NEVER STOP GROWING!!!

Joshua 1:7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the instructions Moses gave you. Do not deviate from them, turning either to the right or to the left. Then you will be successful in everything you do. 8 Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do. 9 This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

Share with people to encourage them today!

- Shanyse Nicole

From "Pain To Peace"

Growing up in a dysfunction household was normal to me. In a lot of ways I thought we were great! We had a house, a dog, 2 cars and we took family vacations ever year. I had clothes on my back and we gave to other people a lot. However, I quickly realized things weren't as good as I thought they were. Eventually when I was 16 years old, I left my parents house.

I remember a lot of love and a lot of hate. I remember a lot of laughs and a lot tears. I remember a lot of things pushed under the rug and never to be talked about or mentioned. The unspoken rule was to move on and not to bring old things up. Just go with the flow and don't talk about it. But eventually things always came up and because it wasnt dealt with , things always got worse.

When my sister and I left my parents house we grew stronger together; But we took things with us that weren't meant for us to take. Baggage from home. Things we didn’t know we were tracking in. Like responsibility for things that didn’t concern us. Often times in the position of “Parent” when needing to be in the place of “Child”. Watching out and waiting to fix another situation that would come about. It crept in on us and we had to decide to get involved or just leave it alone.

As I matured individually I found that it is possible to live in a house of peace . It just took a lot to relearn and renew my mind....

Here are the Top 15 Things I Learned:

• I learned Love was to be without condition

• I learned People Pleasing isn’t really love

• I learned Anger is a real emotion and can be dealt with peacefully

• I learned that Hurt should never be ignored

• I learned Respect and Honor need to be given to All

• I learned Journaling and Singing were my escape and it made me the writer and singer I am today.

• I learned Depression is real! It’s an ugly monster that has to be dealt with!

• I learned that Healing is possible at any age

• I learned my dependency has to be on Jesus!

• I learned that counseling is healthy

• I learned that community is important for growth

• I learned that no one will ever Love me like Jesus!

• I learned that my Identity is found in Jesus !

• I learned to stay Thankful at all times

• I learned to Serve Others above myself

I have known pain and now I know peace! I have known hurt and now I know healing!

I have to say I am grateful for the life I now have. It takes a lot of work to do things on purpose. At first it is hard to learn a new way of life but in time it becomes normal. I learned to control my emotions so they wont have rulership over me. I learned to be thankful for the things I have and don't have. I am so grateful for the life He has given me. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! Do I fail, all the time? But I am progressing. I am growing and I am doing it all on purpose. The things I wish I had are for my own selfish reasons. So I have to keep my emotions in check, keep my flesh at bay and literally learn to always stay in the spirit.

At times I wish I had a different upbringing, but when I think on the goodness of God and How he has preserved me over the years. How the Lord continues to help me - ME personally. The Maker of Heaven and Earth helps me 🤯 He is amazing. See Me by myself , I will jack things all the way up!!!! I was born imperfect. I am a professional sinner without God Ok!!!!! 🙋🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

What I love about Him is he teaches me, corrects me and shows me the best way to do things is always His Way. Imagine the many Lives that would be different if people chose Gods way! I do not know how people do it all without Him. I would not only feel lost without God but I wouldn’t have a purpose on earth!

He is the reason for my existence ! There is no other reason. I can’t believe I made it! Only Because of Him! See, its personal for me! If it’s not personal relationship then it’s religion! I don’t play games in calling Myself a lover of Jesus! I acknowledge that I love God and my life is His alone, which means that IF I love him - I will obey Him. I have seen my life change ever since I learned to live His Way!

So Do You KNOW JESUS?

Are you loved?

Do you want to Find your purpose? Find out why you were created?

Are you free from Shame, Guilt?

If any of your responses are NO to any of the questions above, know this...

Jesus Christ died for you, YES YOU! He wants you to be free form all guilt and shame! For you to be washed from your sins and forgiven. See, Jesus died so that you could be free from the chains of sin. Don’t let your sins keep you entangled in this life! He did not design you to live and die without Him. His sacrifice was for you! He died for You and not only did He die but he resurrected 3 days later proving He has conquered death and in Him is Life Everlasting!

If you want to take the next steps then allow Him into your heart and say this prayer with me:

Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I have lived a life apart from you! I believe you died for my sins and you Resurrected in Glory. Right now, I turn from my sin and shame and I open the door of my heart and life to you! I don’t want to be the same. I confess You as my personal Lord and Savior and I invite you into my life. Show me your ways so I can live the way I was meant to live. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me! Thank you for accepting me as your child today! Show me how to live my life for you and to be your disciple!

In Jesus name, Amen!

Now Find someone you know that loves Jesus, allow them to help you In your new life! Learn and glean from them and their own experience. Allow God to reshape you into the person he always meant for you to be. Be obedient and Read your bible every day! Start with the book of John.

If you would like to talk more, please email me at nysecole@gmail.com or write a comment below. Blessings

Shanyse Nicole #PaintoPeace

#HurtingtoHealing

I would do it again...

I hope you all are doing well in this wonderful Spring season of 2021! Things are feeling better than they did last year. My prayer is that restrictions are completely lifted sometime this year! Enough is enough! We need normal activity again, especially a people person like me! One thing I cannot wait for is for concerts to resume. The last concert I went to is Jonathan McReynolds and it was phenomenal!

Well let me give you an update on what's going on in our lives over here.I truly am trying to be an open book to anyone I come across. Sometimes too open, I regret sharing certain things. Ha. What i'm trying to say is I want to share experiences and lessons learned if they help. I hope my life lived out will show; failures, hurts and pains do not have to stop you living your life to the fullest! Jesus can use the good, bad and ugly for your story here on earth. And remember we are just passing through! So use your time wisely :-)

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Having my baby girl was one of the most amazing and painful experiences of my life! I went through so many emotions, and I can only compare it to getting ready for marriage. Excited and worried all at the same time. Preparing the car, the room, clothes and the house for all the changes about to come! People always give you advice wether you want to hear it or not (just like with marriage). Some are encouraging and others are completely discouraging. I understand people give you their experiences but I think we all should be a bit more careful to not make general statements and let people have their own. And be a bit more encouraging in the process. Encouragement never hurt nobody :-) I so appreciate those that have prayed with me and supported me all the way through. I literally have received help from everyone I know!

I went from an OBGYN, to 2 midwives and then back to the OBGYN office. I have had so many tests done it was annoying. I was told I had preeclampsia and I got tested multiple times all to come out negative. I also got the virus while in the hospital for testing. I had to stay as an inpatient which was the worst experience so close to term. I even had the NICU department talk with me about what would happen if the baby came out positive. I politely told the entire staff that I would be leaving soon, that I am negative and that the baby won't be positive. They all looked at me like "oh ok lady" but I knew in my spirit this is all unnecessary. I understand the hospital is there to help but my confidence wasn't in their expertise. It is first and foremost in Jesus Christ!

As I had felt in my spirit , all results came back normal and negative and I was sent home. I was so excited to not have my urine checked throughout the day and night anymore! What an experience! What I knew to do was pray and wait- so glad that I did. It is easy to jump to conclusions but I waited because I trusted the Lord would cover me and the baby. My mind would race and I would say, " I trust you Lord!".

Discharged from the hospital we had now to attend to ourselves as we were now under quarantine. Our wonderful church family came through with the meals and disinfectant! Oh to have a community of people around us in such a time. I love the Lord and I love you all who helped to bring us the goods!

After all was said and done in February the recommendation became to schedule an induction. I told the staff that I did not desire that so they waited two more weeks but they did not want to go past week 39. So of course I prayed that I could go naturally but it never happened. Sure I was disappointed because we were so close to term and I knew we could do it. Nevertheless the induction was schedule for the day I turned 39 weeks Monday March 15th 2021. My husband I and are went in not knowing when we would come back. out.

When we went in it felt cold and pale. It seemed this was so normal for people and staff but for me it was so abnormal. It just didn't feel right and I knew it wasn't His perfect will for us.

As each day and hour continued throughout my process in the hospital we had to think and pray through another decision after another decision. We didn't do anything without praying first which was so necessary.

I could share all of the details but let me just sum it up to this. I was not happy with my first child birth experience...

• the confusion of opinions between all physicians involved

• the pain of needing to be in a hospital and not being able to do a home-birth

• the pressure of moving forward on their timeline

• the pressure of moving care providers

• the pain of needing an induction

• the pain of failing to progress

It seems all of my plans were changed and a lot that I didn't want to happen- happened! I have shed many many tears and I am still processing all of this. Trauma is real and this experience did affect me. While I process and heal through this I do not regret my pregnancy. In fact, it was one of the most beautiful things ever and when I look into Talia's eyes I would do it all over again. What a gift from God she is. I count my new title as a mother as a great great honor.

I am not sad that I am a mother - Im so thankful

I am not overwhelmed by my duties or that my responsibilities have changed

or that I have much more on my plate than before while learning so much at the same time..

I am disappointed that I cannot change anything I experienced.

The medical field professionals I appreciate but had it not been for Holy Spirit walking me through each and every moment and giving me peace, I wouldn’t have made it. I don’t see how people do this alone. I wish I could be there for everyone who experiences things like this to cheer them on! (If that's you, YOU are amazingly strong and I have so much respect for you.

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As for John my husband who cheered me Along the way... You encouraged me, you supported me, you prayed and believed with me! You stood in Faith with me! You didnt quit or allow things to get you discouraged! You didn’t get angry with God when things didn’t go our way! You Man of God , My Rock, My Lover, My Best Friend and My Pastor I wouldn’t have made it without in this process. Thank you for being constant ! I very much appreciate you Daddy and I am so much more in love with you 🥰

John, I love you man of God With my whole heart! <3

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What I learned .... I had to put my trust in Jesus and fully rely on Him.

If you are facing challenges in life Place your hope in Jesus Christ today! He does not fail! He loves you and He will never leave you!!!!! I can't change anything but its ok - I know nothing is wasted in the kingdom of Jesus Christ! He will use it somehow!

1 Peter 1:3-6

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Proverbs 3:4-5

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

and jdo not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways kacknowledge him,

and he lwill make straight your paths.

-Shanyse Nicole