Growing up in a dysfunction household was normal to me. In a lot of ways I thought we were great! We had a house, a dog, 2 cars and we took family vacations ever year. I had clothes on my back and we gave to other people a lot. However, I quickly realized things weren't as good as I thought they were. Eventually when I was 16 years old, I left my parents house.
I remember a lot of love and a lot of hate. I remember a lot of laughs and a lot tears. I remember a lot of things pushed under the rug and never to be talked about or mentioned. The unspoken rule was to move on and not to bring old things up. Just go with the flow and don't talk about it. But eventually things always came up and because it wasnt dealt with , things always got worse.
When my sister and I left my parents house we grew stronger together; But we took things with us that weren't meant for us to take. Baggage from home. Things we didn’t know we were tracking in. Like responsibility for things that didn’t concern us. Often times in the position of “Parent” when needing to be in the place of “Child”. Watching out and waiting to fix another situation that would come about. It crept in on us and we had to decide to get involved or just leave it alone.
As I matured individually I found that it is possible to live in a house of peace . It just took a lot to relearn and renew my mind....
Here are the Top 15 Things I Learned:
I learned Love was to be without condition
I learned People Pleasing isn’t really love
I learned Anger is a real emotion and can be dealt with peacefully
I learned that Hurt should never be ignored
I learned Respect and Honor need to be given to All
I learned Journaling and Singing were my escape and it made me the writer and singer I am today.
I learned Depression is real! It’s an ugly monster that has to be dealt with!
I learned that Healing is possible at any age
I learned my dependency has to be on Jesus!
I learned that counseling is healthy
I learned that community is important for growth
I learned that no one will ever Love me like Jesus!
I learned that my Identity is found in Jesus !
I learned to stay Thankful at all times
I learned to Serve Others above myself
I have known pain and now I know peace! I have known hurt and now I know healing!
I have to say I am grateful for the life I now have. It takes a lot of work to do things on purpose. At first it is hard to learn a new way of life but in time it becomes normal. I learned to control my emotions so they wont have rulership over me. I learned to be thankful for the things I have and don't have. I am so grateful for the life He has given me. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! Do I fail, all the time? But I am progressing. I am growing and I am doing it all on purpose. The things I wish I had are for my own selfish reasons. So I have to keep my emotions in check, keep my flesh at bay and literally learn to always stay in the spirit.
At times I wish I had a different upbringing, but when I think on the goodness of God and How he has preserved me over the years. How the Lord continues to help me - ME personally. The Maker of Heaven and Earth helps me 🤯 He is amazing. See Me by myself , I will jack things all the way up!!!! I was born imperfect. I am a professional sinner without God Ok!!!!! 🙋🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
What I love about Him is he teaches me, corrects me and shows me the best way to do things is always His Way. Imagine the many Lives that would be different if people chose Gods way! I do not know how people do it all without Him. I would not only feel lost without God but I wouldn’t have a purpose on earth!
He is the reason for my existence ! There is no other reason. I can’t believe I made it! Only Because of Him! See, its personal for me! If it’s not personal relationship then it’s religion! I don’t play games in calling Myself a lover of Jesus! I acknowledge that I love God and my life is His alone, which means that IF I love him - I will obey Him. I have seen my life change ever since I learned to live His Way!
So Do You KNOW JESUS?
Are you loved?
Do you want to Find your purpose? Find out why you were created?
Are you free from Shame, Guilt?
If any of your responses are NO to any of the questions above, know this...
Jesus Christ died for you, YES YOU! He wants you to be free form all guilt and shame! For you to be washed from your sins and forgiven. See, Jesus died so that you could be free from the chains of sin. Don’t let your sins keep you entangled in this life! He did not design you to live and die without Him. His sacrifice was for you! He died for You and not only did He die but he resurrected 3 days later proving He has conquered death and in Him is Life Everlasting!
If you want to take the next steps then allow Him into your heart and say this prayer with me:
Dear Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I have lived a life apart from you! I believe you died for my sins and you Resurrected in Glory. Right now, I turn from my sin and shame and I open the door of my heart and life to you! I don’t want to be the same. I confess You as my personal Lord and Savior and I invite you into my life. Show me your ways so I can live the way I was meant to live. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me! Thank you for accepting me as your child today! Show me how to live my life for you and to be your disciple!
In Jesus name, Amen!
Now Find someone you know that loves Jesus, allow them to help you In your new life! Learn and glean from them and their own experience. Allow God to reshape you into the person he always meant for you to be. Be obedient and Read your bible every day! Start with the book of John.
If you would like to talk more, please email me at email@example.com or write a comment below. Blessings
Shanyse Nicole #PaintoPeace